We’re back from what feels like Outer Space! Didn’t miss me? Don’t worry; I try not to make it obvious when I’m gone.
After over three weeks in our native country, it’s back to German life. And I’m even more convinced that I am not at all sure which one is my real life and which one is a myth.
We played the trip differently than last year. I made sure we had more time and not to over-schedule ourselves. As a result, we did not get to visit everyone we wanted to see, but we felt more rested during and after our vacation.
The time was both amazing and difficult. Amazing in that we so thoroughly enjoyed our time with the friends and family we visited. Difficult in that it felt like when the three weeks were over, we were moving to Germany and saying goodbye all over again.
I thought I’d be begging to get out of cholesterol-laden America. I thought I’d be longing to ride my bike and spend Sundays on walks outdoors.
I was wrong.
What I really wanted was to reconcile my two worlds – to have my American friends and my German life in one neat and happy package.
Too bad that’s entirely impossible.
So, I’m working through it (and can I just say that the pregnancy hormones do NOT help), and striving to find joy in this moment. This one. Right now.
I have to remind myself that America is not the solution nor is it the enemy. Germany is far from perfect but is a very good place to live.
My boys seem to switch flawlessly between the two worlds, probably because they have no concept or understanding of the very real geographical divide and the impracticality of going back and forth more often than once per year.
As they get older, things will change. They’ll make more lasting friendships and realize the meaning of “goodbye.” Cultural differences that they’re currently indifferent to now will frustrate them.
But today T-Rex and Screech are happy to be where Doc Sci and I are. And they were happy to be with us traveling through six states they probably don’t remember, greeting people they barely know.
These two have helped to remind me – home is where your loved ones are. It’s not in a dream, it’s not in a longing, it’s not in a fantasy. It’s right here, wherever that here may be.